Masturbation

Yes, sex toys and vibes are great, but you could also mix things up by using what you already have around the house. Lucky enough to have a shower with a removable head?

I started masturbating when I was about 11 and had my first orgasm within the first few explorations. I don't have it totally figured out, but I know being more thoughtful about when I masturbate, and broadening what that actually is, has improved my sex life.

As tempting as it may be to make your toy do all the heavy lifting, especially when you're tired and masturbating to conk out before bed, try to get your body into it. If you've just pulled into the self-service station, you might as well try penetrative masturbation—using your fingers, a dildo, or a phallic-shaped vibrator—to see if you like it. If you don't, nbd, you're still one step closer to knowing what you do like and being your own sex educator.

Grind your vulva against something, recommends Trisha Borowicz, orgasm equality blogger and director of Science Sex and the Ladies. She notes that it's the way many women first experiment with their bodies. You can take this literally and hire an orgasm coach (seriously, these exist!) or if your masty routine is in need of a refresh, you can ask a partner to tell you exactly what to do. It's a sexy way to bond and a sexy way to see what both you and your partner like. Do it over FaceTime to see all the crazy good visuals, too.

As sex educator Alix Fox — a script consultant on Netflix's Sex Education— puts it to me, "Porn often shows women rubbing themselves so frantically they look like they’re trying to start a campfire in their coochies." But in reality, those positions aren't necessarily the most conducive to pleasure for women. What might seem hot in a male fantasy — which informs much of the porn we watch — isn't always close to what actually gets women off. Women masturbate with legs splayed and backs arched, orgasming after a few minutes of frantic rubbing and moaning.

Equally as important as getting a vibrator — pick a sex toy based on what already works for you when you masturbate. Maybe you’re in a rut and just bored to death of your go-to way to orgasm, or you simply want to change it up. We interviewed 14 anonymous women on exactly how they orgasm alone and all their techniques are pretty unique.

As you feel yourself getting close, keep breathing and if you can, keep your feet where they are. "When the orgasm washes over you, female masturbation you might find it's more powerful than normal," says Carly S. Um, sign me up.

Since I've been single this time around, I've been experimenting with how I masturbate. And part of that experiment has been to go for weeks at a time without doing it. I think also being fat has definitely informed my self-pleasure journey as well. Both of those things for a long while made me feel like I was disconnected from sex.

It would be pretty cool to see masturbation-induced gains at the gym, right? If you’re in a relationship, masturbation may make you more interested in having sex with your partner. With that said, sometimes masturbation isn’t enough to boost a low libido. You definitely shouldn’t feel like you’re failing in any way if this is your experience.

Touch and rub your erogenous zones while you’re at it for a steamy, full-body experience. Vibrators, plugs, anal beads, and massagers can intensify your orgasm tenfold. Who says anal orgasms are only for people with penises? You can still get off through anal play by indirectly stimulating the G-spot through the wall shared between the rectum and vagina.